Author: Kris

I walk a lonely road
The only one I that have ever known
Don’t know were it goes
But its home to me and I walk alone…

Sunday February 20, 2005

The last day I saw my friend Chris who committed suicide.

Fuck.

Happy Birthday to my sister Tina (February 14th) 23rd birthday. arrrrrrrrrr ru ru ru ru

This post goes out to my one and ONLY father.

RIP DAD September 26th, 1964- February 13th, 2001- You will always be remembered for your love and smiles and you really knew how to cheer someone up when they were down.

I remember the first time I heard about your death, I thought it was a joke. However it was not a joke.. the day I saw you at the viewing, I still thought it was just a big joke and that you were going to come out of your cofin and start laughing. However I felt really really sad for samantha, you know since you all were alot closer than me and you.

I went to your gravesite today for the first time in about 2-3 years and brought back alot of memories…RIP

Breaking Benjamin – So Cold

Crowded streets all cleared away
One by One
Hollow heroes separate
As they run

You’re so cold
Keep your hand in mine
Wise men wonder while
Strong men die

[Chorus]

Show me how it ends it’s alright
Show me how defenseless you really are
Satisfied and empty inside
That’s alright, let’s give this another try

If you find your family, don’t you cry
In this land of make-believe, dead and dry

You’re so cold, but you feel alive
Lay your hands on me one last time

Crossfade – Cold

Looking back at me I see
That I never really got it right
I never stopped to think of you
I'm always wrapped up in
Things I cannnot win
You are the antidote that gets me by
Something strong
Like a drug that gets me high

What I really meant to say
Is I'm sorry for the way I am
I never meant to be so cold to you

And I'm sorry about all the lies
Maybe in a different light
You could see me stand on my own again
Cause now i can see
You were the antidote that got me by
Something strong like a drug that got me high
I never meant to be so cold

I never really wanted you to see
The screwed up side of me that I keep
Locked inside of me so deep
It always seems to get to me
I never really wanted you to go
So many things you should have known
I guess for me theres just no hope
I never meant to be so cold

I’ve been kicking ass in many of the tournaments that I have been in lately. I just am to much of a beast to be contained.

“Frustration………..leads to DOMINATION”

To da fullest

Reminded to self:

Major- Business- Want to transfer tro UMD to get into their Business school.

Credits so far- a crappy 6, why? because I was a dumbass and didnt care last semester.

Classes taking now: 2… business and nutrition.

Classes are at night! wo hooo

am i a dumbasssss?

Ok enough about the whole poker thing for now… eventhough im winning alot of money from it, it needs a rest for a while.

Now since the new year has started(yeah yeah I know im late) I have alot of new things I would like to accomplish this year and such…

-Stop eating fast food as much
-Establish a relationship with my younger sis
-Stop disrespecting my mom
-Get closer to my whole family in general
-Get better grades in school
-Have 10k in savings by the end of the year
-Be fully out of debt, people… other things
-Start paying more bills again
-Meet more people who play poker at MC
-Become better at poker by at least 45% of what I am now, also establish a bankroll to help pay my way through college
-Go to driving school to get my license…
-Get a car before at least MAY of 2005!
-If I do do decide to work sometime during the year, find a better job than WB
-Stop cussing as much
-Dont spend money on stupid things I dont need
-Win at least 3 poker tournamenets(Big ones)
-Try and be more patient to everyday things and not get frustrated at stupid people all the time
-Visit my dads gravesite… at least once a month, havnt done that in almost a year and a half

Continue reading “message to myself”