so on my way home from college I get into an argument with my mom tonight.
She starts telling me that she has all these medical problems with her back and headaches and shit and she needs $33 from me so she can get this prescription in the morning for it. My mom has no fucking job, no car… she has nothing at all but me my sister and this crappy little apartment we live in. no savings, no nothing. No education, no nothing. all she knows how to do is clean houses which does make like 30-40k a year but she hasnt been cleaning houses for over 4 years now. she does nothing at all. and every single day all she has is medical problems medical problems and MORE medical problems… oh yeah not to mention like the couple thousand in DEBT she is due to all the hospital visits over the past couple of years from having NO INSURANCE…. oh yeah and having no insurance is part of having no JOB. So what the fuck am I suppost to do? I mean god damn i’m just a 19 year old kid still living with my mom going to college? what am I suppost to pull 5k out of my ass like paris hilton and just make everything right? No im sorry I dont have the luxary of growing up with a rich family that acctually helps their children get a car… or helps their children go live on their own.. or even help their children pay for their college. No see I have none of that… its all about what I can do to survive in this never ending bullshit I call life. You know what fucking pisses me off? I see my mom suffer from day to day and night to night and all I can do is watch. I dont even have the ability to help one bit. Only if I had like 10k All problems would be fixed. Its really starting to annoy me because of the fact that I am fucking smarter than the average kid my age, I fucking make good decisions in life and acctually know where im fucking going to be when im 25 and such. If i grew up in a more fortunate family I would fucking be at UMD right now and be getting 3.5’s and 4.0’s and shit like I should be getting. But no i just cant do that right now. I have to worry about my fucking best friends dying and helping my mom pay her bills and shit when she should be helping me. you know thats what fucking parents are suppost to do. I tell my mom she should come to MC for like a year and get a degree in something that she can sit behind a desk… like management or something… but she claims shes never going to school again. I mean what the fuck can I do? if she doesnt want to go to school to make something of herself… not like I can force her. Right now im just in a fucking pissed off mood and dont really feel like dealing with this bullshit anymore. Im just fucking sick of it all.
I want the things I deserve in life, I want to give my mom the things she deserves in life, but I cant fucking do that if all of these fucking things keep getting in the WAY.
