Ok so i think im headed in the direction of some of that changes that I want to make.. however im starting to do things that I normally dont really do… like im smoking a little bit more than I used to… not really enough to kill me or anything, but smoking in general is bad. Its totally in control and all, so as long as I can control it ill be fine. Im not one of those addicts that smoke for like 25 years like my mom and all. Although I can acctually see where smoking addicts come from… like i understand about nicotine and all. I always thought it was just very easy to quit smoking… and for me it is totally easy… but I can still feel like this craving to have a cigarette.
But I still think its like really stupid to smoke 20 cigs a day or even more… most ive done is like 2… and 2 does like nothing to your lungs… even 100 wouldnt do anything really. im gonna end up taking quits from it all once I can get the death of chris off of my mind..im prob gonna end up going to his gravesite this week…this weekend I need to do alot of things to get this thing off of my mind. grr its so hard to just see someone gone like that. plus I need to get a good grade on my midterm coming up soon. hmm i dont know. Tomorrow im gonna work until like 6 and then prob chill with some of my friends..im tryin 2 get smashed tomorrow..anyone wanna join…? I just need to get away… and get away fast. that road trip is really going to come in handy later on in a few months. anyways im out for now…peace
