Every morning when I walk to work Its the same process. First I lock the door, turn around and begin to think its going to be another long day. But then I think…well its not so bad…is it? I mean its only 2 full time jobs that im working right? Ive come to realize…what am I doing to myself? I dont NEED to work 2 full time jobs…Im at the point now where I could maintain to work 50-60 a week and be straight. What am I doing this for? WHY? Only I know the answer, but I dont know the REASON? Sometimes I seriously just want to lie down in bed and just sleep for an entire day. I dont want to think of anything in my life, I just want to go to sleep for an entire day. Im exhausted 24/7 even on my days off that come every like 3 weeks. I dont eat right at all because Im so tired when I get home(now) to make myself food, or I dont want to spend the money on food because im SO DETERMINED to get my car. I have 3 things in my life right now that really make me happy. 2 of which I earned(acctually I earned all 3), and 1 of which I am so fortunate to have in my life right now, and is HUGE to help me get through this time in my life.
All 3 which I deserve more than soo many other people its ridiculous. But thats besides the point. Soon I will get everything… I can feel it. I can feel it althroughout my veins its like this incredible feeling of satisfaction…I LOVE it. I cant get enough..I seriously cant. I walk that road up to work and back to work every single night…always walking besides my shadow and it seems as if my shadow never fades… its always beside me… gives me my STRENGTH and DETERMINATION…but then I realize…thats not my shadow….its somebody eles shadow…who could it be? My dad? God?…no no…its gotta be my mom right? nope..
its…
?
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