I have erased this 7 times. cliffnotes
i started writing about jen, and my mom. whats new right? then I deleted it and started writing about how pissed off I am….*rolls eyes* but whats the point? complaining does nothing it really does. Complaining is just taking time away to solve problems. But here is the catch… how can you solve a problem is the problem is not you? Oh but wait.. what if it is you? What if you think the problem is the other person, but they think its you? Where do you go from there? You see….both parties can either sit back and play the blame game or they can both not ‘try’ and be happy and move on with their lives…. but simply BE happy and move on with their lives. instead of creating useless drama…. but wait… what if it is not useless? theres a difference between trying and just DOING. Just DO IT. like Nike. Nike doesnt want to hear any fucking excuses. JUST DO IT.
But see this is where it gets tricky. Person A believes Person B is causing majority of the problems. Person B believes Person A is causing all of the problems. Fighting occurs.
Person A understands that Person C is a very big problem, Person C is person A’s mother being around.
I dont even know why I am explaining this because I am right. It is not an opinion, I am right. I am not wrong. I will never believe I am wrong. She probably will never believe she is wrong. This will just lead to a mass amount of fighting over the next 10 years and we will grow to resent eachother. So if I am not willing to admit to being wrong(which would be completely lying to everything I stand for) and she is not willing to admit wrong because she SOMEHOW truly believes that she is right…………..i dont see how this works.
I dont care what anyone says. ANYONE. I dont care if my mom is a drug addict. I dont care if shes poor, shes racist, shes irresponsible, she smokes, she lies, enter almost any bad thing here. I will always take care of my mom. Until she literally tries to kill me. Do I understand that this will limit my overall life? Yes. Do I understand that I could be SO much more in this world if she wasnt around? Yes. I could go on and on
But you simply cannot buy this kind of love. You just cant. This is love in its PUREST form. And for the LIFE of me I cannot understand why Jen cannot see this. I cannot understand why Jen does half of the things she does, and says half of the things she says. I really try to forget what she has done in the past, I really try. If everyone really knew the kind of person Jen REALLY is sometimes…..oh man.
This so fucking depressing. Its the same thing OVER and OVER and OVER, and guess what? I am the fool who falls for it everytime.
