Feeling vulnerable, imperfect, and afraid is only human. It’s when we loose our capacity to hold space for these struggles.
We become dangerous. That’s one way to describe what is happening to us in our culture. We have no space to be honest about that, to be vulnerable, imperfect and afraid TOGETHER. On a micro level as individuals, w are not our best selves in fear, and collectively we certainly are not our best selves in fear. We’ve grown weary. We are sick and tired of being afraid. Is there a silent growing majority? Of people who who are simply thinking at a basic human level: “I don’t want to spend my days like this”. “I don’t want to spend every ounce of energy I have, ducking and weaving”. These type of people are onto something.
We cannot move forward without some honest conversations, about who we are when we’re in fear, and what we’re capable of doing to each other when we’re afraid.
It’s not just that the things that go wrong for us are part of our “wholeness”, the vulnerability, keeps us in. What goes wrong for us is part of our gift to the world. It’s what enables us to connect, and be compassionate. It’s a lovely way to think about the HARD possibly excruciating upside of the fact that so many of us are struggling and suffering right now.
One of the deepest paradoxes about vulnerability is: When I meet you, vulnerability is the very first thing I try and find in you, and its the very last thing I want to show you in me. Vulnerability is the glue that holds connection together. It’s all about our common humanity.
When we own our stories, and share our stories with one another, and we see ourselves reflected back in the stories of people in our lives, we know we’re not alone. This is the ‘heart’ of wholeheartedness. This is the nature of connection.
To be able to see myself, and hear myself, and learn more about myself, in the stories we tell about our experiences.
Brene Brown’s stories and research/teachings have helped me survive some of the most difficult times in my life, and made me feel much less alone. I have heavily studied her for quite some time now, watching her videos over and over and over again always picking up something I didn’t see before. We have all carried some level of shame at some point in our lives. It’s only human for us to seek connection, yet we are afraid of showing who we truly are. Being vulnerable is the only way to finding true connection. Connecting with others in a wholehearted way can help release the burden of fear. I have certainly found comfort in some of the most uncomfortable conversations ive ever had with others, and myself.
